Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Nursery Magic : A Birth Story

Days had passed of feeling sensations, deep and aching in my body which told me labor was about to arrive. I welcomed these sensations and strove to meet the experience with open arms... little did I know this was the calm before the storm. This was the clouds building up in the sky, the horizon darkening before me, energy gathering in the atmosphere. I came out to meet it and chanted up into the sky, holding my arms up and open, welcoming the experience. And the storm complied with my exuberant greeting. A great rush of wind and sky came swooping down apon me. At first, I was exilarated... my blood pounding, my heart joyful and brave... and then the waves of agony began to pound against me, tearing my armor assunder. All my plans, all my preparation became nothing in the face of the pure power of the storm. I was lifted from myself, lifted from my body and tossed up into the great swirling storm of laborland. Naked and vulnerable I lost myself, and found my inner animal self. I roared, I moaned incoherantly vocalizing and thrashed out my agony while gripped in the unimaginable force of the cosmos. Dissoriented and trembling I arched and strained against the storm, but the storm could not be denied, could not be slowed.. it was a wild glorious ride that I could only open myself to and find a way to dance... yes, to dance with the lightning within me and find my strength, my deep primal strength, a gift from the great powers of the universe. Grinning into the storm I howled with triumph, dancing with the wind. Suddenly I found myself plumetting, tumbling back down to my shaking body with a child clutched in my arms. A child I had given birth to, a child I had touched, stroked and had pushed mightily from my aching womb. Such power and joy can NOT be described... bringing a child forth from your body from the very heart of the storm. His nuzzling form, so intensely wrestled from the storm snuggled up to me seeking my heat, my strength, my power and love. The shock of return was intense and as I returned to myself, I found all had been stripped away. I began to gather the bits and peices of myself up automatically, returning to the normal, the set patterns... and I found myself hesitating. All around me lay the bits and peices of self, but suddenly I realized I was still me without them, I was actually more powerful standing unencumbered by these peices of armor, these peices of self. I began to look at them, to take the time to choose what parts of self to reclaim and which to leave there on the forest floor to rot back into the earths loving embrace. Some I picked up lovingly and adorned myself with, while others I examined a moment and let fall. With a baby in my arms, vigorously sucking at my breast, I could see the sun rising through the trees. The great storm is past and I am whole, aching and trembling in the face of the intensity of the experience, but complete.

Our New Arrival Is Here!

Jasper Paul was born on Tuesday October 3rd.
We welcomed him with love and joy at 8:10 a.m. following less than 2 hours of active labor. At 6:30 in the morning I felt a funny little pop and realized that my water had just broken, within the hour, labor was super crazy intense and we got down to business.
A totally unplanned unassisted waterbirth followed, in which I felt with my own hands as his head left my body, followed by lovely wiggling shoulders and great tumble of baby as he slipped against my fingers and into the water below me. With joy and honor I lifted him out into the day and we celebrated together as a family... Jerome, Mielle and I. That's right, Mielle was there with us during her brother's birth! Papa Greg soon joined us in our bedroom and the midwives arrived about 5 minutes after his birth.
I am thrilled to report he's nursing like a champ, just as healthy and happy as a baby can be. He was born weighing 6 pounds 15.5 oz and measuring 21.5 in. Such a sweet and darling little nugget as I have ever seen. I of course think he is the most lovely little boy I have ever laid eyes on, with the most darling perfect round head, sweet little whispy sideburns and long mobile hands.
As the week has passed his cloudy mysterious baby eyes seem to be unveiling a deep steel blue. I wonder will he keep his darling blue eyes, or will they change as he changes every single day, before my very eyes. Slowly I am learning him, and memorizing him heart and soul.... love grows in me every day, till I feel as though I may burst at the seams I have so much love swelling in my heart for my little baby, my precious daughter and my darling husband.
We are all transformed by his presence in our lives and I am amazed at the changes in Mielle every day. She seems to have grown about 2 feet and 2 months in the space of 2 days! So many little things she insists on doing for herself, the tender gentle love she shows to Jasper and the precious vulnerable moments of affection for Mama... she breaks my heart.
Jerome is in high heaven, so full of patience and love for his family. There is something about having a new baby which reminds you of why you choose your spouse... i am so greatful that such a sweet and tender man is the father of my children and my partner during this challenging time.

Photos available here!!!!